Friday, September 18, 2009

Day 191- Friday, September 18, 2009

Day 191:


I had a bad day. Creatively, I feel pretty frustrated; I could be doing so much more right now. I think I'm getting really fed up with being poor and constrained by my situation, and naively, deep down I long for a 9-5 photography job, wanting to fast forward through the next few years of obligatory toiling, bent over, kissing ass.

I feel like I could be accomplishing galaxies of tasks if only I had the right help, but how do I just 'get' it? How do I pay?

Often I get the impression that really succesful people in history, while having worked hard for what they achieved, simply lucked out with a lot of circumstances. The two factors that really stand out to me are how much money you have to invest(less important), and who you know(way important). It's frustrating to think that sometimes, something that arbitrary can limit you.

Either way, after all is said and done, I have to keep pushing. I'm aware of my 'complaining', and I think that that self-awareness of complaining means I'm just... sharing my thoughts, letting go of some steam... The drinks I had earlier just made me feel lazy and guilty...

Goodnight

1 comment:

vintage muse said...

you're so young, don't stress too much. there's lots of people WAY older than you who still don't know that the fuck they want to do. knowing and pursuing what you love is the battle's biggest part. and don't worry about complaining, we're choosing to read.